I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you..

Why are Sundays always so depressing for me? It is mine and Dans only day off together which should be a really good thing right? Wrong! His passion in life is music which I often wish would be like his other brothers, cars. Every Sunday he drives to bumfuck Maryland for the day to play in a band. I want him to go and have fun with his friends but I guess in a way I feel like im being forgotten and left in the dust.

Today they have some guy coming to listen to them who is a manager for a skate video and wants to use one of there songs which is incredible, but for some reason I am completely pissed about his success. It has nothing to do with jealousy, I just want a day to spend with him that it will just be me and him with nothing else to do! I also always sit and wonder if by some grace of god that he becomes some famous rock star if I would be able to deal with him always being gone. I wouldn't be able to. I can never tell him that because I will always be blamed for him being unhappy either way.

So Sundays suck. I'm stuck sitting here wondering if this is the right thing for me, or should I continue my life alone? I love Dan and don't want to face that decision EVER, but im sick of fighting about this over and over again...