I'm done with Christmas and its not even here.

So, not to sound like a grinch or anything but i am so sick of Christmas and its not even here yet. Ever since my parents got divorced I have been dragged everywhere. During the holidays it gets even worse. I have actually started to hate ALL holidays just for that reason. I even miss a christmas because of all of this. Even when I ask or mention that I cannot make something until much later... I know it sounds like im being selfish here but honestly... I just feel left out. It makes me wonder if things I've been hoping would happen and wanting to happen are worth it or if I will just cry every holiday for the rest of my life and NOT be able to spend it with the one person I really honestly want to spend it with.